Softer

I’ve been softer lately,

slower

When I get hurt, I feel it

instead of going straight to

“thank you, universe.”

instead of going straight to

“fuck you”

I let myself be a puddle on the floor

I cry on the side of the road

Or lay tearless, strewn across the unmade bed

It sinks in

and I let it

Nothing outside myself can make anything better

I can only be here right now

If there is pain, be with it

If there is empty space, let it remain

It could all be over in an instant

I could be gone from this world with no warning

so I soften more until every knot, every inflexibility, every last tension

has nowhere left to live in me

And I do my best to honor the perfection of this pain

and surrender it to something more powerful

and more elegant

than I know how to see