Softer
I’ve been softer lately,
slower
When I get hurt, I feel it
instead of going straight to
“thank you, universe.”
instead of going straight to
“fuck you”
I let myself be a puddle on the floor
I cry on the side of the road
Or lay tearless, strewn across the unmade bed
It sinks in
and I let it
Nothing outside myself can make anything better
I can only be here right now
If there is pain, be with it
If there is empty space, let it remain
It could all be over in an instant
I could be gone from this world with no warning
so I soften more until every knot, every inflexibility, every last tension
has nowhere left to live in me
And I do my best to honor the perfection of this pain
and surrender it to something more powerful
and more elegant
than I know how to see